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Two kinds of women exist (also could be applied to men too, but I don't care about dudes). Women who need emotional connections to reach certain mental satisfaction levels. And women who need to feel physical shit in order to relieve themselves of their mental problems. I call the former to be the boring girls, and the later to be the kinky bitches. Every girl exists on a sliding scale between these two points. On one end, girls who need to really know the guy, to feel what he feels, for him to give her emotional assistance, even in the event of a super short term relationship. On the other, there's girls who just don't care, want to try as much weird shit as possible, will not object to any suggestion a guy puts forward sexually, and will probably come up with some ideas of her own.
One problem comes, however. Boring girls think they're kinky bitches, and vice versa. They become pretenders, because they act how they think they should act instead of how they feel. When you marry a girl, you better damn well makes sure she knows what she is. If she's a kinky bitch, so be it, those can be satisfied and held on to. But kinky bitches in denial who try and live a nice normal life, always fall off this particular path. Likewise, the girls you think are kinky as fuck and love to do anything will in the end, have a mental breakdown at some point, and probably take everyone down with them.
This is my theory of knowing how to satisfy a girl. I have no preference for either. But guys who work out what class (remember, you can be in the middle of both categories) a girl is fishing with dynamite. You're already half way there, you know what gets her off. Now you just need to convince her you're the man for the job.
And in 3 paragraphs, I just solved women without the need for a retarded pick up book teaching guys the 'secrets' or whatever bullshit. Hint for the girls who may be reading this: this can be applied to guys too. Have fun.
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"It was during this period that I realised I had discovered one of the secrets of human existence: if I maintained a high level of inner pressure, and declined to allow my mind to collapse into tiredness or boredom, everything went well. When I didn't, they went badly. The major problem of human beings is a tendency to allow our energies to leak. And as soon as they leak, consciousness is dimmed, and we become subject to accident."
Colin Wilson
Dreaming to Some Purpose
p. 17
“Without struggle, no progress and no result. Every breaking of habit produces a change in the machine.”
"The evolution of man is the evolution of his consciousness, and "consciousness" cannot evolve unconsciously. The evolution of man is the evolution of his will, and "will" cannot evolve involuntarily. The evolution of man is the evolution of his power of doing, and "doing" cannot be the result of things which "happen."
G. I. Gurdjieff
"Divide in yourself the mechanical from the conscious, see how little there is of the conscious, how seldom it works, and how strong is the mechanical - mechanical attitudes, mechanical intentions, mechanical thoughts, mechanical desires."
P. D. Ouspensky
“We fear to know the fearsome and unsavory aspects of ourselves, but we fear even more to know the godlike in ourselves”
Abraham Maslow
"Anyone who fights for the future lives in it today."
“Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.”
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It might have been a while, I'm writting this update while whacked, I have a good new drug addition thats finally curing the insomnia and wiping the long hours straight off my memory. Exciting news, I've decided to move to Argentina in October. Yes, Argentina. I'll be able continue by trading and poker, make a ton of money, learn spanish, meet spanish girls, proceed to organise orgy, you know the rest. Oh, and even though I'm not a coke guy, $20 a gram for pure shit. That's insane. I might have to switch to coke at that price!
But seriously, life keeps getting weirder and weirder. Here I am, 4 years from my first entry. Although the volume has tapered off, I look back now in total awe at what ive accomplished and felt. The magnitude of growing up I did, the knowledge I've gained, and not just technical skills, just everything. I made the next step, I did it. I'm not some dude looking to discover himself until his early 30s. I'm not just working at a bar traveling with partner to partner to new cities and never really finding that part inside me. The next 4 years are going to be fucking grand. I can just tell. If I die, its a god damn fucking tragedy. Not because I'm better, but because such a high % of the pop has hit a brick wall and existence isnt meaningful anymore. I'm not.
God damn its good to be alive.
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For a_life_verbatim, you might like this. These are my life rules:
1. This is it!
2. There are no hidden meanings.
3. You can’t get there from here, and besides there’s no place else to go.
4. We are all already dying, and we will be dead for a long time.
5. Nothing lasts.
6. There is no way of getting all you want.
7. You can’t have anything unless you let go of it.
8. You only get to keep what you give away.
9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.
10. The world is not necessarily just. Being good often does not pay off and there is no compensation for misfortune.
11. You have a responsibility to do your best nonetheless.
12. It is a random universe to which we bring meaning.
13. You don’t really control anything.
14. You can’t make anyone love you.
15. No one is any stronger or any weaker than anyone else.
16. Everyone is, in his own way, vunerable.
17. There are no great men.
18. If you have a hero, look again; you have diminished yourself in some way.
19. Everyone lies, cheats, pretends (yes, you too, and most certainly I myself).
20. All evil is potential vitality in need of transformation.
21. All of you is worth something, if you will only own it.
22. Progress is an illusion.
23. Evil can be displaced but never eradicated, as all solutions breed new problems.
24. Yet it is necessary to keep on struggling toward solution.
25. Childhood is a nightmare.
26. But it is so very hard to be an on-your-own, take-care-of-yourself-cause-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.
27. Each of us is ultimately alone.
28. The most important things, each man must do for himself.
29. Love is not enough, but it sure helps.
30. We have only ourselves, and one another. That may not be much, but that’s all there is.
31. How strange, that so often, it all seems worth it.
32. We must live within the ambiguity of partial freedom, partial power and partial knowledge.
33. All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
34. Yet we are responsible for everything we do.
35. No excuses will be accepted.
36. You can run, but you can’t hide.
37. It is most important to run out of scapegoats.
38. We must learn the power of living with our helplessness.
39. The only victory, lies in surrender to oneself.
40. All of the significannt battles are waged within the self.
41. You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
42. What do you know … for sure … anyway?
43. Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again.
Everytime I become dis-enchanted with life, I read this. It works pretty well too, for what its worth.
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Anything worse then hitting it off with a hot girl you just met, everything going well, the flirting is approaching the "DANGER: OVERHEATING" zone, and then you have the nerve to ask your mate, "so how do you too know each other?". "Oh, this is my best mates girlfriend, he said to look after her tonight while he's away". So, girls, when I say to you, "You don't seem like the type to have a partner, anyway", the correct response is not "he he that sounds about right". The only thing that stops me from getting mad is the following: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qReKppA71DE&mode=related&search=
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For those who don't know, I play poker "professionally". Inverted comma's exist because its not really a profession for me, more a way to make quick money. I've done fairly well playing poker, much more than working any job (or two or three), and as a consequence have had a good lifestyle too. Poker is a very difficult game, but my temperment suits it perfectly, as does my skill in reading people. But poker won't be around forever, so I've decided to branch out into different areas. Now, I hate 9-5 jobs. I loathe them. I can't do it. I don't mind rigid jobs where I can work how I want, when I want (keep in mind, I work harder at poker than I would in any 9-5 job). I need to be in control. I can't be a drone. And with this, I met a guy whom is a successful day trader. He trades futures for a living, using technical anaylsis to make decisions on where the price of the market will be headed. To say the least, its very interesting; you're using graphs to 'read' how the market is thinking at any one point in time. Are they confident? Are they bullish or bearish? And from that, it becomes a simple probability game. Trades aren't always successful, but a majority are, and thats the principle. Its always something that has interested me, but I've never had the balls to do it. With this mentor though, his knowledge and confidence in my intelligence has given me a lift. In the last month, I've read something like 8 large books on trading. I'm reading 6 hours a day. I'm entrenched. Failure is not an option, only success. The last time I felt this way? Poker, the 6 figure game for me. If I can succeed at this, financial security, big money, and a lifestyle I'd crave for could come. Failure could mean bankruptcy, although thats a huge extreme and probably unlikely. I can always go back to doing this. What I really want is capital to expand into other business interests, but that will take time to develop. If anyones interested in what I'm doing, I'm starting a new blog http://colindoc.wordpress.com. Some of you might be curious as to what I'm doing, the blog is just to help me communicate with my close friends and trading mentors, but feel free to read it and maybe learn something. That is all, have a good one guys!
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Trippy weekend, I won't go into it all, too long, suffice to say I had a 23 year old mate who has a 6 months old kid, a 5 year old step daughter, got engaged when he was 20, house when he was 21, I found out he cheated on his fionce 3 months ago and she kicked him out. The twist? He's one of my favourite guys, super nice, always positive.... its just unbelievable. I only ran into him randomly at a pub on friday, it was odd, why would he be out? It all makes too much sense. Don't marry young people when you're still figuring out the world, please. More stuff happened, but something cured me. This video. Prince leaves me speechless. How can one man have so much talent? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-qlU46ODlgUnbelievable song. I'm on my 5th watching. This ones a lot of fun too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t16tJUGPy5IRIP James brown :(
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